Everything Falls Apart

Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places I have known
The dream of being someone else (again)
has acquired a life of its own
So many dreams, so many faces
So many of all those things
All the faces looking at me
I am being left alone
The feeling of being followed
The feeling of being liked
The touch of someone bad again
Being torn down every night
The darkness that I feared the most
Is the colour of my skin
Hopeless coloured me
I have spent my life on this
My life has always been about this

Oh ****, Oh ****
Then it fell apart
It fell apart

Oh ****, Oh ****
Like it always does
Like it always does

Extreme ways of saying things
Extreme ways every time
Condescension is a virtue
Not everyone has the right
Too many lies, too many capers
Too much time, contemplations
Its really not good for me
It just can't be good
The way you talk back to me
Makes me stand in awe of you
Every single day
Dirty things and Dirty places
Dirty thoughts and Dirty faces
My face is one of them
My thoughts are very low
I have spent my life on this
My life has always been about this

Oh ****, Oh ****

Then it fell apart
It fell apart

Oh ****, Oh ****
Like it always does
Like it always does

Of the Ruin of Beleriand

I have been pondering over what to write; should it something that rhymes, one that dazzles with its subtlety or something like what I am writing right now. It's a difficult choice to be made under most circumstances, for there are some when One feels the need to write something decided in advance and in haste, not in the likeness of Shadowfax, which was steered by the wisest of the Maiar in the later days; ergo, making it replete. Anyway...

Beleriand is the land where things have been etched, the realm of reveries, and the alternative to Highbury; the precise selection from the three is left to the stark (let us assume it's stark) imagination of readers and scorners. I do care who, but let us say that I "do not care". After all, it is my place to say what I want. The period of solace is rather ephemeral and a path to utter discontent. One wonders if there is a path to absolute satiation. Why does One have to wonder so much, why is One so self-obsessed to allude to himself as the One. There are myriad other ones, but the amount of importance they are bestowed with is evident from the small 'o' in "ones". How comfortably conceited of him to write all of this, be self-contemptuous and consider oneself realistic. The foolishness seems to continue and the end appears not. Digressing from the crux of the moment, can a thing be 'inexorably ineffable'? I think not. Then why is it that I feel that there should be something like it, maybe in philosophical terms of the ignorant. They can make anything intellectually marvelous by making it sound esoteric and "artistic".

I suppose it is difficult to fathom how, but all of the above-written reminds me of a recent event at the Emirates Stadium. Liverpool played badly and still made Arsenal look appalling, which indeed seems to be the case. I cannot not feel for Arsene Wenger, and his views and adherence to a line of thought. He and the club certainly deserve better by a long-shot.

As we approach the end of this, let us say that there lies a pile of stuff in the caverns of Utumno, which is conspicuous in the way that it is conspicuous enough to be mentioned. It is in those caves and lairs that beings and imperceptible entities were mutilated in Olden days, and it marks the end of all things bright and clear, and this too.

Of the Darkening of Days

As I am writing something after a great many days, I hope to make a decent comeback and make this as eloquent as it may be made. One great thing about the whole time I have spent away is that, I can type relentlessly without looking at my, or for that matter, anybody else's keyboard. It may be one of the few consolations available to The One when there is naught else to be ineffably 'in revel' about. I have been reading 'The Silmarillion' lately, and it is beautiful. As a matter of fact, I should be reading it right now, but I am not. The point is, I have a considerable amount to be done, shenanigans to be rueful about, rubbish to write (as I am doing right now), but I am too lazy to not be phony. I do not see much sense in what I am writing, it is but a convoluted expression of the quagmires I behold in my day-to-day life; it is much the same with everyone. Who knows, they may all have their own blogs where they write posts which come to the attention of no one. Or maybe not; we'll never know....

which brings to One's attention the earlier resolve that One had, of being eloquent. That surely went to perdition. The other Ones may often wonder how The One contrives to be all that he intends to; ergo, let him take center-stage to present to you the coveted answer. The desired aurora is acquired by the constant use of third person, with particular attention to 'One', indulgence in the expression of the so-called uncommon constructions, a feeling of perpetual discontent and a fake sense of idiosyncrasies; which in turn, also reminds me to mention the all important self-condescension. Ah! the cauldron of all the self-belief One may desire. Blah Blah Blah. I have got to go.

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A thing that I stumbled on yesterday

A long time ago, in a land far far away, there was this guy, say Nemanja Vidic, who was drudging his feet across the Underhills; just then, he stumbled on something and lost his sangfroid. In the process of falling down, he asked to himself, what could it be!

At that moment, he took out his lenses, put them on and alas!, to his fortune, there were these books in a boxset and two pictures of the same taken by the former bearer of the same.

That was then, and this is now...

[Click on any to enlarge]



February 13, 2011

Hey (with a sigh of veiled disappointment).

I am disappointed because I'm discontent with a couple o' things, in my room particularly, that I feel are holding me back. Let me take this opportunity to enumerate them. The first of those is my VDU, which is only 19" from top left to bottom right, and that is supposed to eat me from the inside. Also, it is LCD and not LED, which I presume and state with a bit of conviction, is a tad bit better. One's LCD is also way too small and puny for any comfort. 'Comfort', the other heartless bitch besides 'gravity', always seems to elude me, or so it seems. I'm sure all ones must feel the same. It's only human.

I now turn my focus towards my other source of disarray- 'NVIDIA XFX 9400 GT (1 gigs of VRAM)'. I got it a year and two months back, a time when I was elated to be a proud owner of that. I still am, only with the exception that it serves all but its main motive- gaming. I take this valid 'opportunity' to digress and tell you a real story. A long time ago, in a land far far away, as I was browsing through a number of NVIDIA forums, I came across a post written by a guy who went on to say that 9400, 9500, and 9800 are not under any set of conditions, gaming GPUs, and that they are meant for lending support to business and graphics intensive applications; and if I went on to add something, proper supplements to Windows 7 for somewhat flawless rendering of the AERO effects. End of story.

It is now when I ponder over it that I realize how precise he was. I am really discontent with the flawed gaming support that 9400 GT has lent me. 

As a result of all this, I have decided to soon purchase a better machine, with a much faster and overclocking friendly processor, motherboard and chipset combination, a 400 GTS series GPU, or whichever is the juiciest at the time of purchase and a LED monitor as large as money can get and I can afford.

I have got a lot to add to this, but I rest it over here at this point of time and space.

STAR WARS Galaxy Map

[Click on the image to enlarge]

A letter to why J.R.R.Tolkien embarked on to write THE LORD OF THE RINGS